Throughout centuries, long hair has been a symbol of power, strength, freedom, good health, and non-conformism. Native Americans believe that hair is a physical manifestation of the growth of the spirit and our connection to mother Earth.

Being in sync with nature is what my father believes is the right way of living. He is not a religious man. He follows reason and logic and is completely engulfed in rational thinking. He is also not a man who talks about his feelings or fears.

When he decided to let his hair grow long at the age of 62, I asked him “why?”. He said in Turkish “It’s natural. And it doesn’t hurt me or anyone else.” A very practical and typical answer from my father. An approach, which I’m used to from him. Yet I also know by now that there are things he is not expressing with words. Noticing that he unusually often changed his hair throughout his life, I dug deep into our family albums. It became quickly clear that there are correlations between the stages of his life and the choice of his hairstyle. It seems like my father always mirrored his full dedication to the role he has to or wants to play also with his hairstyle. He wholeheartedly dove into what needed to be done, fully committed. At times he needed to be conformal, at times he fully lived adventurously.

It is not unusual to use one’s hair as an expression of changes in one’s life. Many humans do it. Women in particular have a socially constructed reputation of changing their hair when their life is in need of a change. Breakups, motherhood, new job, etc. But it’s a general idea amongst all of us, across all genders, binary or non-binary, that playing with our hairstyle is part of our individual journey through life. Some do less, some go further. My father never shied away to make major changes to his hair. The hair was or is part of who he was or is at certain parts of his life.

Around 2014/15, after losing his parents and deciding to retire, making him leave two major roles of his life completely behind him - son and teacher - my father found himself in a vacuum, and this time there was no prewritten role he could just slip in. He had to reinvent himself. This era was commenced by letting his hair grow long again. 

Eventually, especially after my mom retired as well, he found his rhythm. Nowadays, he splits his newfound free time between Berlin and Antalya. He started learning a new language and also traveling. He dreams again and thinks of old dreams like driving down Route 66 and visiting Canada. His hair stays long and untouched.

Most recently, he became a grandfather and he fully flourishes in his unconventional, “cool” grandpa look. When I asked him if he ever wants to cut his hair again, he shook his head. He decided to let nature take its course by growing his hair infinitely. Many admire his choice of hairstyle, some grin. In the end, he doesn’t care about anyone’s opinion. He is determined to live life on his own terms - free from anyone’s opinion. “I know that my hair is receding at the front” he added, “but I like how it looks and feels.”